Thursday, April 22, 2010

"Best" (Hilariously Bad) Spin Ever: Plaid Cymru, David Cameron's Objective Allies

This nice lady had the most hilariously bad spin I've ever seen or heard, post-debate, given she was speaking to all of Wales & Britain, and knowing what they're like: "A hung parliament would be good because it would make Britain more like Germany and let us Welsh nationalists, along with the Scottish and Irish nationalists, negotiate special deals for ourselves". Umm, nice lady, have you ever met your own people? Things Brits don't like:
a. Germans.
b. Imitating European wankers with all their wonky ways.
c. Praising Europeans as compared to the UK.
d. Especially praising Germans.
e. Especially imitating Germans.
f. Unfairness
g. Unfair "queue jumping" behaviour, ie. behaviour perceived as unfairly benefiting small groups, whether footballers, the rich, the poor, the middle class, well everyone really, as the UK is notorious for its resentments, everyone thinking they're being treated unfairly by everyone else.
h. Grasping behaviour / not being a team player

i. Nationalism (though everyone is nationalist, in their own way)
j. "Small" nationalisms.
k. The Welsh (even the Welsh don't like the Welsh, it often seems. I do. But many don't.)
l. Wetness (often perceived as a Welsh trait, wrongly)
m. Indecisive politics & politicians.
n. Hung parliaments.

Whence the great boost for the Conservatives from a change-enthusiastic electorate if they could parade this lady and all Plaid Cymru, SNP & Sinn Fein types around the country, saying: "Listen to these oiks! Do you want them with the balance of power? Just listen to them - "Let's all become Germans! Germany is so much better than the UK! A hung parliament will let us cut special deals and funnel money back to our fellow creepy crawlies in our rubbish grungy regions!" - Is that what you want? Pro-German, Anti-British, poncey nationalists holding the balance of power? If you're like us, fair, honest, tough Brits, you'll vote Conservative, for a strong government that can clean up Gordon Brown's & New Labour's messes without these tossers and those Lib-Dem weirdos messing about. Vote for Britain. Vote Conservative."

NB. I am all for the Lib-Dems and a hung parliament. But this lady, and her fellow nationalists, may be nice personally, but remain clueless twerps. I mean, in God's name, who does post-debate spin calling for making UK more like Germany so one's own little nationalist party can cut special deals? That will be a loser in Wales too, as all Brits hate to be accused of being so wet as to be offered or receiving special treatment, even though they all want it, although in their individual cases, it's just fairness, of course. Crikey. Hilarious. I can't wait for the next French campaign when Bayrou-MoDem decides to call for cohabitation so France can adopt the superior English cuisine.

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