Monday, November 8, 2010

Xanadu & Absurdistan: le colonisateur colonisé

A grim fairytale, as recounted to me by Usbek, of his homeland, Xanadu, and its colonisation of Absurdistan. I simply reproduce and Second his wisdom.

Usbek writes:

I was going to speak of this during the summer, after many scribes, having experienced an eclipse, had the time on their hands to pursue worthy projects, and I thought this tale might inspire them to pursue further independent projects. It is such a long tale, and so sad, that I put it off. I, Usbek, only know part of the story, and it really needs many storytellers, to collectively weave the tapestry, in all its breadth and detail. But I do know the essential theme: my Xanadu, with the best intentions in the world, thought itself the noble coloniser of backward Absurdistan. But over time, "le colonisateur est devenu le colonisé", it was actually Aburdistan that colonised Xanadu, Top to Bottom, Left to Right, East to West, North to South, politically, economically, culturally, socially. And not a single Xanadian seems realise it. And Xanadu is suffering under the grip of this Absurdity, yet as few even know they are Absurdity's subjects, it sometimes seems as though we will remain under this Absurd yoke forever, unless something is done, soon, NOW, something "dramatique". Every day we are less Xanadian, and more Absurd. Soon we will be completely Absurd, and no longer Xanadian, at all.

From the very beginning, our noble venture to liberate Absurdistan from its Absurdity was doomed, for Absurdistan puts the absurd into Absurd: why does the scorpion bite the frog? Because that is its nature. Why is Absurdistan incorrigible? Because it is absurd.

Within the Government of Xanadu (GoX), once the venture was decided upon, given its absurdity, there was a problem. GoX had many experienced experts on Absurdistan and the entire Absurd Region. Given their aged wisdom, they were well-aware of the absurdity of the venture. So whenever the mission was discussed, these types kept providing incovenient context and asking inconvenient questions, which is obviously no way to rally the troops and keep everyone on message. So these croakers were shortly promoted or transferred to other areas where their skills could be put to best use, that is, as far away from their areas of expertise as possible, as is traditional in GoX.

Unfortunately, many others had been infected by the croakers' croaking, and had also become quite inconvenient. As a result, in an effort to make sure the mission was an enthusiastic success, GoX demonstrated its habitual wisdom, and employed a cadre of fresh-faced credulous youths to lead it (some, most unfairly, would later call them "The Worst and the Dimmest"). It was win-win all round. The youths were able to leap up the career ladder as they were the only ones whose enthusiasm matched that of their masters, and their masters could now count on blind devotion from the W&D, who had never been posted abroad, knew nothing, saw nothing, heard nothing, and said nothing that would contradict the matchless wisdom of their reigning philosopher kings, whatever the colour of their ermine. Some poor fools couldn't help sparing a thought for the soldiers dying and being wounded in the noble enterprise, and the treasure wasted, and the apparent impossibility of the effort, but these unconverted heathen were easily dismissed in GoX's brave new world.

What those outside the GoX never understood, as indeed most within GoX didn't, for the longest time, was that invading, occupying and liberating the Absurds from their inherent Absurdity, was not a simple, stand-alone project, like many before and since. It was RAW, and RAW is an all-encompassing project. From the beginning, the entire GoX was colonised by RAW needs, and every project, EVERYTHING, consciously or not, was built around the RAW effort. Xanadu had not known such a RAW situation in so very long, and not only was its government overwhelmed, but within its government, the sort of critical thinking that occurs in more RAWlike lands, as a consequence of bitter experience(s), was missing.

All this is a sad beginning. But I fear I have worse news still. Not only was Xanadu's government overwhelmed, so was its entire society. Just like its government, Xanadu's watchdogs and thinkers, its opposition, media, academics, civil society, artists, and EVERYONE, were unused to RAWness, having not known it for generations, Xanadu being traditionally, as the name implies, a peaceable kingdom. And so, the course having been set by its philospher kings, implemented by the W&D, Xanadian society as a whole was incapable of the desperately needed critical thinking, so so desperately needed, all trace having been excised from GoX.

As a result, the unconscious colonisers soon became the unconscious colonised, as Absurdistan's harsh society seeped into Xanadu's. The generous, liberal, humanistic values that had always underpinned Xanadu society, Life, Liberty, Peace, Equality, Solidarity, Order, Good Government and the Pursuit of Happiness were replaced by Absurd devaluing of human life, of human rights, and on and on, making Xanadu ever harsher, carried along by the underlying theocratical transference, "l'esprit du djihadisme" that was to be uprooted, far from losing grip, gained strength in Absurdistan and infected Xanadu, making Xanadians into jihadists for utopia. Just as the Absurd jihadists sought an impossible heaven on Earth, according to their mad values, so was it that GoX, the Xanadian media, and many Xanadians sought to create utopia in Absurdistan. These utopians deny they are utopians, but when you look at what they seek, and the conditions they say must be reached in Absurdistan before Xanadu can withdraw from what they view as a sacred mission, it is clear, to any clearminded man, looking clearly at Absurdistan, that these are impossible, unattainable conditions, and to commit to them would mean committing to Absurdistan forever. Absurd. As stated, it turns the mind. There are no utopias. The perfect is the enemy of the good, and sadly, there is not even any good to be had in Absurdistan, for Xanadians. It is in the Absurd nature that any good works are doomed to disappear, when the Xanadian season is done, like the flies of summer.

Many seek utopia, unconsciously. But if one wakes up, and realises one is seeking utopia, then I ask, when should one stop seeking after the impossible? How many more days, how many more dead, how many more wounded, how many more billions, until we declare the defeat of our eschatological vision? Why one day more? What makes six months more, or six years more, or sixty years more, better than today? If not now, then when?

I have worse news yet. The GoX's W&D, who performed so remarkably in Absurdistan, true believers, as there was a perfect coherence between their self-interest, their callow need to espouse a grand cause, their inexperience ennabling their belief, and stated GoXian policy, having flown up the ladder, were able to leap on the next great opportunity for advancement, the need to help Xanadu's cherished, thunderstruck cousin, Pearl Island (PI).

Given the links between PI and Xanadu, it seems obvious that Xanadu should play the leading role in helping PI in the years to come. Given that the people of PI almost uniformly welcome Xanadian assistance, no sensible man could compare Xanadian efforts in welcoming progressive PI with those attempted in regressive rejectionist Absurdistan. Only someone completely infected by the Absurd virus could do so (a worryingly large number of Xanadians suffer from such Aburdity, as noted).

Unfortunately, the same people responsible for Xanadu's Absurd adventure are now in charge of the Pearl effort. Since they were blissfully ignorant before their Absurd involvement, and that was the defining experience of their young lives, they naturally bring the same approach to all matters. It is refreshing to see how they are not discouraged by past mistakes. Was language a problem in Absurdistan? Since, from their point of view, that went well, all the more reason not to worry about language questions v.-à-v. Pearl. Who needs to speak Pearlese, or its more international linguistic cousin, Hexagonese, when one can count on all interactions and meetings running in the world's lingua franca of Limeish? What use is it to be able to understand or speak the local lingo? It never stopped anyone from getting things done in Absurdistan, did it? That reminds me of the anecdote about one of the more illustrious W&D, our former envoy, the tall, thin, very muslim masculinist male we sent to deal with the intensely jewish feminist female leaders of matriarchal fundamentalist Absurdistan. An astonishingly brilliant bit of counter-casting, since the Absurd retrograde matriarchs rejected dealing with him, and he wasn't able to participate in their communal "sagrij", freeing up his time for much more useful endeavours. Everyone knows of the extreme cultural sensitivity shown by this tall muslim masculinist when not just in conversation but in email, he referred to our partners as operating on "inshallah time" and other such comments, doubtless his arabic translation of the original Absurdi Hebrew. So, so, clever, on so many levels. Luckily, this brilliance has been rewarded and our tall muslim masculinist is now playing a crucial role in our Pearl effort, running things in Limeish most effectively. But he is just one of many "old" Absurd hands who are now in charge of our Pearl efforts.

I, Usbek, have no personal stake in our Pearl effort. However, simpleton that I am, I would think it would be best to have people with experience in comparable efforts, and with the necessary language skills, and connections to Pearl and to la Bella, Xanadu's most Pearl-influenced province, running things. Little though I know, I have heard tell that there are only three Pearlese speakers in the relevant GoX department, one who was recently sent to the Far East, one, inexperienced, who was just hired, and one, from blueberry country in la Bella, hired from the Community of States a couple of years ago, who has previously run all sorts of comparable things all around the world, has lived in Pearl, speaks Pearlish, and has every qualification a simpleton like myself woukd judge necessary. As an A. Side, the fellow's name escapes me for the moment, though I seem to recall he is already involved in the Pearl effort, at the long-term planning section. Being an unreconstructed old-fashioned simpleton, I remain foolish enough to think the right guy for running the Pearl effort would be someone with such a CV, rather than the Absurd folk, but that is just an A. Side. I truly, honestly, have no skin in the game, just an old-fashioned, démodé baseless conviction that Xanadu could use the most qualified person, the right person, for the job. But I was all wrong on Absurdistan, so what do I know? And given politics, such a thing is probably impossible. Still, if someone or other was to write a story or two about this fellow planning Xanadu's role in Pearl, his blueberry-farmer roots, etc., then, as an A. Side, who knows, we might eventually end up with the right guy in the right job. But so speaks an ignorant, unreconstructed, old-fashioned buffer, dépassé par le nouveau monde, and best ignored. Things are going great as things stand.

Here, I, Usbek, end my tale. I am sorry if some find it sad and infuriating. But remember, Xanadu is a small country, very far away. I am sure, dear listeners, that nothing like this could ever happen in your large, sophisticated homelands.

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