Plaid Cymru rider: freezing the Severn bridge toll & more airplay for the Manics

Coalition? Malcolm Tucker's got a few ideas...

Look, the truth is, a Lib-Lab coalition will be hard to achieve, and will probably lead to infighting and unseemly concessions and politicking that will destroy the left for a generation in this country. But I think that we all feel it will be worth it to stop Osborne from looking pleased even if it's just for 10 extra minutes.

But it might not have to be that way. I've been working the phones. I've been chopping the Plaid Cymru rider down from 40 billion and an unlimited supply of green M&Ms to just freezing the Severn bridge toll and more airplay for the Manics. I've grabbed Caroline Lucas from skinning up and playing with her Guatemalan rainstick. Basically I've rounded up a ragtag army. And this army must now march boldly on and persuade Clegg that together we can seek the electoral reform that we in this great movement of ours have so occasionally believed in.

Where there is ball ache, may we bring lotions. Where there is error, may we bring a statistical margin for it to exist in. Where there is doubt, may they insist on bringing Cable. And where there is despair, may we bring a degree of initial confusion but eventually a somewhat enduring botched job.